there's paper in my vomit.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
