This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
