Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
Randomize
