That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I mean I know I'll get over it by like tonight but ew ew eww. I cannot. Dude I don't even know his name also I threw up on his penis
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
