1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
