Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
There's a stripper getting there at 10 though so hopefully I'm out before the stripper gets there. I don't have time to deal with a stripper.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
