my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
