sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
What do I wear to meet his family/put his dog to sleep? Is there even an appropriate outfit for this occasion?
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
Nxt time we drink that much, we'll have to hide the crayons. Crayola-ing a mural on the living room wall wasnt the brightest idea, but it sure is classy. Right?
Randomize
