Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
even my farts smell like vagina
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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