jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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