I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
