Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
