I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
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