Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
