I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
What the hell do you have that is more important than a GIANT WATER SLIDE?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
