I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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