Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
Randomize
