So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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