I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
Randomize
