My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
