we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
It's like God shit irony all over that family
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
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