I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Farmville is her only friend.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize
