Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
