bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
