So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
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