belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I found your birth control, it was in your Crown Royal bag.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Randomize
