The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
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