i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
