To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
