Threw my underwear in my purse as I was running away after sex last night, went to pick up my birth control prescription this morning, took out my wallet and accidentally flung my sweet thong onto the counter in front of the cashier. Think that was the universes way of telling me I am a whore.
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Randomize
