Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
