You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
