But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
