you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
