$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
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