We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Shame is for Republicans.
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