do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
