Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
