Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
