Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
