carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
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