I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
