is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
I believe in your delicious
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
Randomize
