It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
