either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Randomize
