We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
Woke up in bushes at UT didn't know I was Austin last night
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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