Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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