He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Randomize
