You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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