No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Randomize
