Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
