the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
Terrible idea I love it
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Randomize
