I heard we made out
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
