Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
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