dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Randomize
